Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up
with technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving twenty-five-dollar cars that get
1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued
a press release stating: If GM had developed
technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you
would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for
no reason, and you would just accept this, restart,
and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
to restart, in which case you would have to re-install
the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless
you bought "Car98", or "CarNT". However, even then you
would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the
sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy
to drive, but would only run on 5 percent of the
roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning
lights would be replaced by a single "general car
default" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same
size butt.
9. The airbag system would ask "Are You Sure?" before
going off.
10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car
would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key,
and grabbed a hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a
deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps, (now a GM
subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor
wanted them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by
50 percent or more. Moreover, GM would become a target
for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model, car buyers
would have to learn how to drive all over again
because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car. |
